sibyl teo i use pantene shampoo I LIKE PINK, am very mellow. I can't drink gassy drinks anymore. I like cats.

Credits I want to delete sia Layout: hasta mañana Inspiration: balloon.s Fonts: toomunch Icons: defying affection Lyrics: Funny Little World Others: colour codes

what happened has happened & is here December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 July 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012

I need to start doing something about my life.


I've been thinking I need to keep a whole lot of things/pictures/music/crap that I like and compile it into a file so as to discover the true self inside of me. I have some folders of that but its like such a mish mash of things its hard to understand sometimes.


I know I've been away from this space for so long but its because how school turns you into something that you have to cut yourself into. Like you can't force your shape into the school, but instead you have to mould/shape/cut yourself to fit the school.


And thats why I've been feeling so out of my league for so long. I feel so horribly confined in a disgusting little piece of building. And I'm sure this would have been the same in any other Junior College, not only AJC.


Because of this, I'm super afraid of going to universities because I don't want to cut anymore of myself just to fit into something that is obviously not me. That is not something I wish to represent. I want to build myself into something I am proud to call Sibyl's.


I feel so demoralized anyhow because my mother doesn't want me to take this road of which I wish she'd allow me because its different. She actually did tell me "Sibyl, I want you to be a normal person, to take a normal couse at a university, and lead a normal life with a good pay"


I don't know what to think about it but it feels like the only person you wish who would tell you don't give up on your dreams to give up and submit to a boring skeletal life.


But I know I'm not that sort. I don't want to be that normal business woman selling/buying stocks and counting money everyday. I want to venture out and abroad and try new things and see new things.


Its always back to money and position isn't it.


But I will not allow myself to try and give up. I'm going to push.


But as of now, I have no choice but to sacrifice the small pieces of cloth of mine just to get good grades to cover their stinking mouths about how I should go to university and all the expectations they have of me.


I will be okay.