I just love it when I sing one line from a rhcp song and the rest of the song just gets stuck in my head and the earworm gets so freaking bad I YouTube the video.
I love rhcp.
♥ go away I don't want to smell you.
i am going to die lor if i dont take out my contacts soon. Im going to die all the time I'm so sick of saying I'm going to die when I know I'm going to eventually but not so soon only. I want to die now. I want to mean what I say I don't want anyone to take it lightly anymore.
Anyway. I'm very sick of just typing things to cover up for what I feel because the publik eyes are very evil. They read and they gossip. Then they tell each other what they think and I get paranoid that everyone hates me. So i'm just typing this so that when I read my own blog in the future I can kind of remember why I'm so pissed off and over whom.
I'm quite sick also of having to hang out with the crowds. At the moment, I would like to stick the labels of stickers to cds in an empty room and my favourite music controlled by myself and not some machine or other human. I would like total control of everything around me except for me food.
Come to think of it now I feel quite sad for my dear hamsters. I have to make it a point to feed them more now.
Anyways, I'm also very pissed about the fact that I am stuck in a stupid situation I obviously can't get out because I cannot control. Again, the controlling issue.
It is not a good day today. The rest of this shit is going into my diary. I just hope for good health and good air and rain so that no one will ever visit gramaphone.
I did not mean what I say. Only when I say I'm going to die then you can believe my words.
Do you comprehend?
Friday, December 25, 2009 ♥ the thing that gets to me
Suddenly something has happened to me As I was having my cup of tea Suddenly I was feeling depressed I was utterly and totally stressed Do you know you made me cry Do you know you made me die
And the thing that gets to me Is you'll never really see And the thing that freaks me out Is I'll always be in doubt It is a lovely thing that we have It is a lovely thing that we It is a lovely thing, the animal The animal instinct
So take my hands and come with me We will change reality So take my hands and we will pray They won't take you away They will never make me cry, no They will never make me die
And the thing that gets to me Is you'll never really see And the thing that freaks me out Is I'll always be in doubt
The animal, the animal, the animal instinct in me It's the animal, the animal, the animal instinct in me It's the animal, it's the animal, it's the animal instinct in me
Just like RHCP, I found the other band I listen to a lot when I was young. Chinhwee. I have not made up my mind. Do not be alarmed.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009 ♥ spin twirl fall cry smile
IM SO DAMN TIRED OKAY.
Anyhowz, i've seen so many people at work today, my legs are going to die. I almost bawled my butt out when Fadilah played Yellow & the scientist. And all the sad songs. I just cannot tahan okay. The only thing that can really go through my fucking mind everytime I stand and stone is one thing. But it irritates me to the fucking maximum because I cannot cry at work. I have to wear a happy face and try not to get scolded by lina/ivy and I have to pretend that I'm okay and not fall asleep.
I'm going to die one day. Everyone will.
Anyway, I just want to let everyone know that despite my happy face and smiles and dispositions or whatever you call these nowadays cause I'm so backdated/outdated, I am a very sad person overall and I'm just too fucking tired to deal with my sadness and agony. So i'll just keep pretending I'm a happy bitch when I'm actually just dying a lot everyday.
And no one will understand as much as they feel sad for me and I dont want you to feel sad for me because I want to be fake happy and I want things to get better. And really the best way is to fucking pretend.
So ignore the sadness from the midst of my voice and take me as I am. I am happy. And happy is a short-term/lived feeling that I always get.
I will never experience joy.
Sunday, December 20, 2009 ♥ big girl now
I COMPLETELY FORGOT I HAD THIS SONG IN MY PLAYLIST/LIST OF SONGS/SONGS
HOHOHO. Happy tune finally.
But its kinda hurting my heart to hear it cause. I'm sad.
And I'll try and gulp it down.
But anyways, HAS ANYONE WHO WENT FOR PBB RECEIVED THEIR LETTER YET? SO CUTE SIA.
I'm such a weirdo. Nobody talks to me.
Saturday, December 19, 2009 ♥ HAHAHAHAHHAHA
FROM BEATLES TO KURT TO GLAM ROCKERS TO EMO SHIT.
I LOVE RHCP FOREVER.
Friday, December 18, 2009 ♥ meow
IM DOING FINE EVERYONE.
Im starting to try and put some postivity into my life as I work
So fret not. I'll pick myself back up.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009 ♥ sweat
I am sweating out all the sweat/crap/sadness/anger/faint-ness from my body because I don't want to think of anything anymore. I'd rather have nothing in my brain other than the smell of Greece and the taste of escargots in my mouth. I want to hear all my favourite songs on replay and other than that nothing else.
Because I'm so sick of dealing with people. I don't know why compared to Chinhwee, I hate my work. I hate the people I'm poured and pointed to. I don't understand all the stupid negativity filling me to my toes.
What did I expect anyway.
Still sweating everything. Gotta let all the shit ass toxins out my body anyway.
Mary btw, is not coming back because she has a cyst in her breast and her parents don't want her to come back. We don't know how true the part about her wanting to come back but she's not coming back and we can't call her. The house is dusty and dirty but I can cope since I'm not going to be at home as much as before.
I'm like waiting for a fucking reply.
And I'm not going to receive that reply anytime soon so I should give up. I have so many things I want to do but I'm so weak and stuff.
And more stuff. I want to go to the esplanade. I want to watch Lea sing one last time.
I miss doing things as a family. My family is broken.
I'm gonna get a stroke soon.
Huafei's home. Everything's gonna be okay.
♥ its like that
Monday, December 14, 2009 ♥
I run to the river and dive straight in I pray that the water will drown out the din But as the water fills my mouth It couldn't wash the echoes out But as the water fills my mouth It couldn't wash the echoes out
I swallow the sound and it swallows me whole Till there's nothing left inside my soul As empty as that beating drum But the sound has just begun
I don't want to try. I want to do.
Sunday, December 27, 2009 ♥ hump de bump!
I just love it when I sing one line from a rhcp song and the rest of the song just gets stuck in my head and the earworm gets so freaking bad I YouTube the video.
I love rhcp.
♥ go away I don't want to smell you.
i am going to die lor if i dont take out my contacts soon. Im going to die all the time I'm so sick of saying I'm going to die when I know I'm going to eventually but not so soon only. I want to die now. I want to mean what I say I don't want anyone to take it lightly anymore.
Anyway. I'm very sick of just typing things to cover up for what I feel because the publik eyes are very evil. They read and they gossip. Then they tell each other what they think and I get paranoid that everyone hates me. So i'm just typing this so that when I read my own blog in the future I can kind of remember why I'm so pissed off and over whom.
I'm quite sick also of having to hang out with the crowds. At the moment, I would like to stick the labels of stickers to cds in an empty room and my favourite music controlled by myself and not some machine or other human. I would like total control of everything around me except for me food.
Come to think of it now I feel quite sad for my dear hamsters. I have to make it a point to feed them more now.
Anyways, I'm also very pissed about the fact that I am stuck in a stupid situation I obviously can't get out because I cannot control. Again, the controlling issue.
It is not a good day today. The rest of this shit is going into my diary. I just hope for good health and good air and rain so that no one will ever visit gramaphone.
I did not mean what I say. Only when I say I'm going to die then you can believe my words.
Do you comprehend?
Friday, December 25, 2009 ♥ the thing that gets to me
Suddenly something has happened to me As I was having my cup of tea Suddenly I was feeling depressed I was utterly and totally stressed Do you know you made me cry Do you know you made me die
And the thing that gets to me Is you'll never really see And the thing that freaks me out Is I'll always be in doubt It is a lovely thing that we have It is a lovely thing that we It is a lovely thing, the animal The animal instinct
So take my hands and come with me We will change reality So take my hands and we will pray They won't take you away They will never make me cry, no They will never make me die
And the thing that gets to me Is you'll never really see And the thing that freaks me out Is I'll always be in doubt
The animal, the animal, the animal instinct in me It's the animal, the animal, the animal instinct in me It's the animal, it's the animal, it's the animal instinct in me
Just like RHCP, I found the other band I listen to a lot when I was young. Chinhwee. I have not made up my mind. Do not be alarmed.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009 ♥ spin twirl fall cry smile
IM SO DAMN TIRED OKAY.
Anyhowz, i've seen so many people at work today, my legs are going to die. I almost bawled my butt out when Fadilah played Yellow & the scientist. And all the sad songs. I just cannot tahan okay. The only thing that can really go through my fucking mind everytime I stand and stone is one thing. But it irritates me to the fucking maximum because I cannot cry at work. I have to wear a happy face and try not to get scolded by lina/ivy and I have to pretend that I'm okay and not fall asleep.
I'm going to die one day. Everyone will.
Anyway, I just want to let everyone know that despite my happy face and smiles and dispositions or whatever you call these nowadays cause I'm so backdated/outdated, I am a very sad person overall and I'm just too fucking tired to deal with my sadness and agony. So i'll just keep pretending I'm a happy bitch when I'm actually just dying a lot everyday.
And no one will understand as much as they feel sad for me and I dont want you to feel sad for me because I want to be fake happy and I want things to get better. And really the best way is to fucking pretend.
So ignore the sadness from the midst of my voice and take me as I am. I am happy. And happy is a short-term/lived feeling that I always get.
I will never experience joy.
Sunday, December 20, 2009 ♥ big girl now
I COMPLETELY FORGOT I HAD THIS SONG IN MY PLAYLIST/LIST OF SONGS/SONGS
HOHOHO. Happy tune finally.
But its kinda hurting my heart to hear it cause. I'm sad.
And I'll try and gulp it down.
But anyways, HAS ANYONE WHO WENT FOR PBB RECEIVED THEIR LETTER YET? SO CUTE SIA.
I'm such a weirdo. Nobody talks to me.
Saturday, December 19, 2009 ♥ HAHAHAHAHHAHA
FROM BEATLES TO KURT TO GLAM ROCKERS TO EMO SHIT.
I LOVE RHCP FOREVER.
Friday, December 18, 2009 ♥ meow
IM DOING FINE EVERYONE.
Im starting to try and put some postivity into my life as I work
So fret not. I'll pick myself back up.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009 ♥ sweat
I am sweating out all the sweat/crap/sadness/anger/faint-ness from my body because I don't want to think of anything anymore. I'd rather have nothing in my brain other than the smell of Greece and the taste of escargots in my mouth. I want to hear all my favourite songs on replay and other than that nothing else.
Because I'm so sick of dealing with people. I don't know why compared to Chinhwee, I hate my work. I hate the people I'm poured and pointed to. I don't understand all the stupid negativity filling me to my toes.
What did I expect anyway.
Still sweating everything. Gotta let all the shit ass toxins out my body anyway.
Mary btw, is not coming back because she has a cyst in her breast and her parents don't want her to come back. We don't know how true the part about her wanting to come back but she's not coming back and we can't call her. The house is dusty and dirty but I can cope since I'm not going to be at home as much as before.
I'm like waiting for a fucking reply.
And I'm not going to receive that reply anytime soon so I should give up. I have so many things I want to do but I'm so weak and stuff.
And more stuff. I want to go to the esplanade. I want to watch Lea sing one last time.
I miss doing things as a family. My family is broken.
I'm gonna get a stroke soon.
Huafei's home. Everything's gonna be okay.
♥ its like that
Monday, December 14, 2009 ♥
I run to the river and dive straight in I pray that the water will drown out the din But as the water fills my mouth It couldn't wash the echoes out But as the water fills my mouth It couldn't wash the echoes out
I swallow the sound and it swallows me whole Till there's nothing left inside my soul As empty as that beating drum But the sound has just begun
